Faith, Hope, and Sorrow

We've been ttc (trying to conceive) for over 7 years now and just when I think I have a handle on my emotions in the infertility department - I'm caught off-guard. This past friday my husband and I went to a b&b nearby and it was lovely. There's a couple in our ward who came over to watch the kids (we have one bio daughter, 7 yrs, twins, 4 yrs, adopted from Ukraine Nov 2008) for us overnight. This couple has been ttc for 8+ years and just recently became pregnant. While I can completely understand her elation at becoming pregnant, it was hard for me to hear about it - and it was all I heard from her. I wasn't in the mood for feeling sympathetic (which made me feel guilty) because she is feeling very nauseated and watching MY kids so I have some time away with my hubby. Infertility stinks.

Hello everyone, my name is Emily. Hope is my sister-in-law and invited me to join. Rj and I have been married for 8, almost 9, months. We are originally from MI but since Rj is in the army we now live in Fort Polk, LA. Rj and I both decided that we would try for kids right away and we want to have as many as possible (Rj would like 12..Im more in the 8 or under party). We tried and got nothing while 6+ people got pregnant (3 of which called to tell us on the day we got negative tests). Last month we went to the doctor for something completely unrelated and the doctor (who im not even sure opened my file and looked at it) told me i most likely have PCOS and that my eggs are not developing fully when they are released, and the put me on the no carb diet. Im not sure i beleive this guy because he didnt look at my file while we were in his presence and did nothing about the problem of why we were really there, he just seemed to be on a no carb diet frenzy. We have to wait at least another...

Hi! My name is Tiffany and I'm living right now in Ithaca with my husband of four years and my three month old daughter, Taylor. I'm 25 years old and working on getting my masters in education online. I am so grateful for my little girl. We tried to conceive for over a year before getting pregnant. I took Clomid , took my basal body temperature every morning, tried ovulation tests, and any other thing that we thought might work. I remember how depressed I was when my period was 23 days late and after a blood test found out I was still not pregnant. I think it's especially hard in our culture if you have problems conceiving. I was so frustrated by people teasing us about when we were going to start our family. When I did get pregnant I couldn't believe that one of my roommates from college left a comment on my blog saying she was glad that I finally joined the mommy club. Unless you've been through it yourself, it's hard to imagine how emotional it can...

I would like to start a new little tradition, similar to Wednesday W's, but this time thankful thursday. With this blog being about such an emotional subject, it feels like few of our posts have positive themes. So.... What is one thing you are thankful for today?

"W" (I can't seem to think of a way to turn this into a "w" question, so there is the honorary w to start the post) If you had complete control over your family size, how many kids would you like to have?

So friends, things do not look good for my fledgling pregnancy. I started spotting at the weekend and it is progressing to heavier and heavier cramping and bleeding. I called my doc on Monday and saw a NP Tuesday. She did a pelvic exam, confirmed that I'm bleeding, and did a transvaginal ultrasound. She said that what she saw looked like a 4 week embryo, not a 7 week embryo like we were expecting. They also ran a blood test to check HcG -- Thursday they will run a second one. If the number has roughly doubled, then the pregnancy is probably still viable. If the number is the same or decreased, well...looks like this little sprout won't make it, unfortunately. My suspicion is that the fertilized egg stopped dividing, and I'll be miscarrying. At this point, I don't know what's worse -- the emotional and physical pain of the miscarriage, or having a viable pregnancy get off to such a scary, rough start. With Richard I was on tenterhooks for 7 long weeks once they disco...

I went to college with Jill and she linked me here a few months ago, but I haven't posted. I guess I'm in denial about that "i" word. I am 27 1/2 and have been married just over 6 1/2 years. We have an incredible daughter that turned 3 in January. We ttc for 18 months with her. At first it was just trial and error I guess, but then I started charting. I did just temp and pms symptoms at first, then later cf and cp. I also was using an otc progesterone cream. The month I finally got pg with her I was doubling the progesterone, but I don't know if that was relevant. I had a pretty easy pregnancy and delivery. Unlike many people, I wanted my kids closer to 3 years apart than 18-24 mos. We started ttc #2 a few months before DD's (dear daughter) 2nd birthday and this month marks 18 months again. I haven't done any testing & haven't done any fertility treatments. Right now I'm looking for an ob/gyn here. There are a few that are highly re...

Well, I'm back from a wonderful 10-day trip to MI and it was great to see some fellow Faith, Hope and Sorrow friends! While there, I was able to see the accupunctarist Stephanie has been going to. Let me just say, I highly recommend trying Traditional Chinese Medicine! Accupuncture was amazing! And I was given some herbs that are the worst tasting thing in my life, but have already made a difference in how i feel. If considering going the way of needles, check and see if the accupunctarist has an MSAS (I think that is what is it called) machine. It stands for something like Meridian something Assesment something... ok, so I don't remember what it stands for, but it was AMAZING! I included a picture of one of the machines in this post. What happened was, I held the metal bar in one hand and then she used the little black pointer thing (it reminded me of a ball point pen... no needles) and she touched 62 or so different "meridians" or points on my hands and feet that c...

I was diagnosed with antithyroid antibodies, otherwise known as Hashimoto's disease. I display no symptoms whatsoever except for the infertility. I'm shocked and I'm saddened. This is an autoimmune disease, something that I'll have for my entire life. Just great. Just great. I took the Femara this cycle and was thrilled that I had a follicle ready to trigger on Friday. So, we triggered. I had my IUI on Saturday. Then I went in this morning for an ultrasound to see if my follicle had released. It hadn't. It's still there. So my IUI was a big fat waste of time, energy, and $$. I'm irritated beyond belief. And sad that I won't get my chance this month. =( I just needed to vent.

Hello! My name is Emily. I live in Michigan and know Jen L. and Stephanie P. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years. I have a little girl that will be 4 in July. It took us 6 months to get pregnant with her. We have always wanted a big family, so we started trying for our second before Abby was 1. So in May we will have been trying for 3 years to get pregnant. It is so weird to read some of your posts, because I feel like you are saying my feelings exactly. I have really irregular periods. My husband got a sperm count and that came back with good results. I haven't been in to see a specialist, mostly because of money and the stress. I was wondering how easy it is to get Clomid. I have been told that might work for us. But I talked with a nurse of a specialist and she made it sound like it was quite a big thing to be on it. She said usually you have to have a TSG first, and get your blood drawn and have ultrasounds. Pricing that was definitely discouraging. My husband...

Which pregnancy test company are you keeping in business? (or at least prefer?)

Thanks to Stephanie, I just made an appointment with the accupuncturist she sees in MI. I'll be out there this week and thought I'd take advantage of the recommendation. I just had to say, it feels SO good to be back on the wagon of trying to do something! I was sort of at the end of tests and procedures to do with my doctor (other than drugs...) and it would be a lot of money for us to see a specialist up in Syracuse. But it's just nice to feel hopeful again. Maybe someone can help me figure out what's going on. It is pricey... not as much as an RE. Thankfully (by a miracle) our insurance covered the semen analysis and my HSG 100%! (we were shocked!!) and so we really haven't invested any money in fertility treatments yet. This will be our first major investment. My appointment is on Monday. I'll let you all know how it goes! :)

I've been meaning to post this for a while, but I haven't really wanted to think about what's going on (or not going on). It's amazing how some days I feel SOO hopeful that I could skip around and whistle all day :) And other days, I feel so saddened and hopeless that I feel like throwing up. I have had the worst cycle! Firstly, it doesn't help that I had a miscarriage last cycle (which according to past history throws my cycle off (however this time I wasn't very far along at all... I was only late by about a week). When I had my first miscarriage I didn't have a period for 17 weeks. But the next cycle I was pregnant with MM). Secondly we have been under a LOT of stress in this household as of late. We have been really sick... all of us.. multiple times. Right when I was about to ovulate my daughter got a stomach bug and I was up a few nights with her. Then 4 days later I got the bug, along with a fever of 102 for two days... not good for little eggs trying...

After having one negative test a few days ago, a second one today showed a plus sign. I'm elated, but so scared, too. After the drama of Richard's pregnancy & birth (too little amniotic fluid, complete bedrest, a traumatic induction 5 weeks early, and a week in the NICU), and the shock of his Type 1 diagnosis at age 1, I know that this pregnancy could very well be another roller coaster ride for our family. I'm putting my faith in Heavenly Father that whatever comes, we'll be able to face it with courage, hope, and love. I'm nowhere near close to 12 weeks yet (by my reckoning, it's more like 3-4), so the threat of miscarriage looms large for the next several months. I'm praying that this little person growing inside me can hold on until week 40. I know I haven't posted much on here, but I hope that you'll keep us in your prayers. All of you continue to be in mine.

Has anyone here ever had any experience with Femara for infertility? It's actually a breast cancer drug, but it's been shown to help with infertility as well. I met with my new Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) today, and he would like to try Femara with intrauterine insemination. Femara seems pretty simple, it's just a pill like Clomid. Should be much easier than the injectable drugs that I have done in the past. But I'm looking for personal stories about the "stuff" ;) Anyone???