Faith, Hope, and Sorrow

What are everyone's thoughts on "fertility" drugs? Have you taken them? Did you have success? Side effects? OR if you haven't tried them yet, will you consider using drugs? How long will you wait before it becomes an option? I'm half tempted to call up my doctor tomorrow and say "Give me the drugs!" I've always been an anti drug person. I'll definitely take them if I have to, but if I can avoid it, then I will (including pain killers). So I'm a bit surprised I'm to this point. I know clomid can have a lot of side effects, and increases the risk of multiples, but I'm getting sick of sitting on my hands. I think my plan is to try one more month of acupuncture and then try some drugs. Today I went to a ward picnic, and a friend of mine came over, and we were chatting and she mentioned that she is 3 1/2 months pregnant. She has a 3 year old and a 6 month old and is already pregnant again. She was going on how this pregnancy was a surprise

I went in for a yearly exam/pap last week. At the end when she was pushing around on my abdomen, she hit a painful point and I flinched and burst into tears. She decided to order an ultrasound, as well as a blood test to see if I ovulated, since I've been trying to get pregnant for 19 mos. now. Well, the good news is my hormone levels looked good and I had ovulated. Unfortunately...I was diagnosed with endometriosis and a retroflexed uterus. I've suspected endo since I was a teen based on symptoms, but it was never confirmed. There is a concentration on my left ovary, which is where the really tender spot was. She said some people have a tilted uterus, but mine is tilted really far backwards. Apparently the combination explains some of my lower back pain, as well as why it's hard for me to get pregnant. (Recap-it took 18 mos. to conceive my daughter) She suggested 6 mos. of birth control pills to make the endometriosis stop growing. I'm not thrilled about that

I didnt realize that they just gave out fertility drugs.... Today I was at a friends house(J&S) and there were 3 couple total. The couple that i didnt know (A&B) told me that they were having trouble getting pregnant. I asked how long they had been trying and A&B told me they had been trying 1 month but had no trouble having there 1st!! A&B also told me that wanted to start taking fertility drugs just so they could have twins. Thi just upset me through the roof!

Yet another negative test today. My period is a little late, but I was still being optimistic by testing. For thinking I didn't care much anymore, it sure does hurt! Here's to another month...

Hello! I sure enjoy reading the posts. Its very weird to read some of them, because I feel like they are writing exactly what I am thinking and feeling. We have been trying for our second for exactly 3 years now. Time flies! So I have a question about my charts. I have been recording my basal body temperatures for awhile. It has been a little comical, because my body is so WEIRD! I laugh at the perfect charts they have as examples in Taking Charge of your fertility. Half of my temperatures are in the 96 range as low as 96.3. What I have read has suggested thyroid might be the problem, but I have had my thyroid tested. My TSH was a little low at .32. I guess the average is .35-5.50. But the Dr. said that my T4( I think that was what she said) was normal so the TSH was okay to be that low. (And yes I am taking it at the same time in the mornings and following the rules. Expect I do have to get up sometime with my 3 year old, but I always make sure I have 3 consecutive hours.

Is anyone else struggling with Mother's Day at all this year? I hate that I am. I am still a mother, even if I only have one child. I should be able to rejoice in that, and celebrate that. But somehow, I feel like Mother's Day stories become about the women who barely have a second to breathe because they are so busy taking care of their house full of children, etc. Lately I have been feeling like people look at me and think "She has it easy," because I only have one child, and she is pretty easy now, (well except for tantrums and not listening to me....). If only they knew that I would much rather be swarming in diapers, and midnight feedings than having a little free time! Anyway, they're probably not even thinking that. I probably just do it to myself. But either way, I find myself aching inside this weekend for what I don't have, and I wish I could just be grateful for what I do have. I guess I know what I need to pray for, and focus on.... And Jen, I to

Im currently reading The Conception Chronicle, with the Chinese Wellness book and a few other in line after this one. If the people at the library didnt know I had a problem before they most definately do now! I have 5 books checked out currently..But on to the point... As I was reading they give a general guideline which they call the "3 Strikes and You're Out". It states that there will be 3 courses of action taken #1. Fertility Drugs (they mainly talk about Clomid) #2. Injections/IUI #3. IVF and if none work then you're out(and no one wants to be out!!) My question: Do all these things have to be done consecutively? Like #1, if that doesnt work, right away goto #2, ect? I ask because there is a deployment planned for my husband next summer-ish(Hope, ex-na on the family-a, we arent sharing that tid bit yet) and if we dont get pregnant naturally and move onto #1 and we dont get pregnant, he will then be gone. Will we have to start over or pick up where we left off? T

Has/is anyone else gone through an apathetic stage? I wish I could say I just have a lot of faith that the Lord is in control, but honestly, I'm starting to not care anymore. I mean on one hand, it's wonderful. The crying has stopped, the constant stress is gone. But on the other hand, I feel really guilty. This last cycle I just haven't cared to chart anymore. I used to pour over my charts, filling in lots of detail, making sure I took my temperature everyday without any disturbance, but now... well, I haven't filled in my chart for almost 2 weeks, I misplaced my thermometer while on vacation and didn't bother to look through my bag to find it. When I got home I didn't even care to unpack it until last night. Perhaps it is healthy this way... I am no longer allowing it to define my life. But sometimes I wonder if I have allowed myself to be depressed or go into despair and so my emotions are shutting down. I feel like a big contradiction.

I just spent an A-MAZ-ING few days in Utah at BYU's Women's Conference. Sister Julie B. Beck spoke and she related a story that I found really interesting. It doesn't necessarily relate to our situations, but still, a nice recognition of the pain of infertility. Sister Beck was really close to her laurel advisor (Cleo something..) and she visited her when she was in the hospital and in her 80's. Cleo was unable to have children and after 10 years I believe she either adopted or pursued something that allowed her to have kids (women's broadcast will be rebroadcast May 14-15 on BYU TV (which is on-line) in case you would like to get the real story). Cleo lost a child when that child was young, and I believe over half of her kids preceded her in death along with her husband. Sister Beck said to her "Have you had a good life?" to which Cleo responded, "Yes, I have had a good life." She then paused and added, "Except for those 10 years we were tr