Flashbacks

We've been pretty sick around here lately, and in an effort to keep myself from turning to mush I went through all of MM's small clothes. At first it was a lot of fun! All the cute little outfits and the memories that came with them. When I got to the 18 month pile, I pulled out little yellow pj's. I started to feel really sad as I folded the pj's neatly and stuffed them in the tub. I remember so clearly how MM looked in them and how the yellow made her little cheeks so cute and pink. "Will I ever pull these out again to put on a baby?" I wondered. The sadness washed over me. This week I have done a pretty good job of being hopeful and optimistic about the future... but I cried. I felt something close to despair. I'm storing all of these clothes in the hopes of another child, but what if all the closet space I am taking up to store pink dresses is in vain? Is there another baby girl for us? A baby boy? A baby?

As quickly as the sadness came, another memory came back. I bought those pj's from Salvation Army. I remember very clearly the day... a little over a year ago, we had no money, but MM needed warm clothes! I wasn't sure what to do. She didn't have a coat, her pjs were too small and not warm enough and going to the store to get new ones was simply out of the question! So I prayed for help. The idea came to go to Salvation Army. I went and there were 2 pairs of fleece pj's (that looked new!) and a warm winter coat with matching snow pants all in her size. Not only that, but it was a Tuesday and the clothes were 50% off. The sadness was replaced with gratitude. Even in the small things, the Lord has never let me down! He remembered my little family and the struggles we had in buying something as seemingly simple as pjs. Seems such an insignificant memory, but it made me aware that the Lord remembered me today... as he always does.