Faith, Hope, and Sorrow

Yeah. How? I don't know. Well, I *know* how, I just don't *understand* how. 3.5 years of infertility this time, after needing injectable fertility drugs and inseminations before...which, I might add, all failed this time around. So, how on earth am I now 6w1d pregnant? Miracles happen, I suppose. ~Kristina

It's funny how so many things happen while my husband is traveling- Monday, my 15 month old fell out our house window (a 5 ft drop), today my daughter had a field trip that turned into a daddy/child outing... of course, she didn't have a dad here to go with her. Today I also had a cardiologist appointment to go over the results of all the testing I've had in the past 3 months. But the most frustrating thing is- I'm actually by-the-book fertile. Something that doesn't happen very often. He doesn't come home until Friday afternoon. There may be a small chance, but not likely. We started acupuncture back in March to try to get a head start on all of this. This current cycle is an identical twin to the cycle I got pregnant with my son. It's hard for me not to be angry- why, Heavenly Father, did this happen the one week Michael is gone?! But I realized, He knows exactly what is going on, and He knows Michael is gone. It's not just an ill-timed coinciden...

I'm back and I don't want to be. I think we would all wish we weren't here. Here's my dilemma in a nutshell (a very small nutshell)- I have a girl - Lillian almost 6years old I have a boy - Spencer 2 years old. Between the four year gap we tried to conceive and couldn't for a long time. Finally after medical help we conceived. It was a horrible hospital ridden, I didn't know if my son would survive pregnancy. I *think* I want another. Okay I want another but I don't want to have to go through the emotions, drugs, tests, disappointment, tears, and all the other stuff we go through to ttc. My son was born with a syndrome. We don't know if it was passed down yet. His syndrome has a 50% chance of being hereditary, 50% chance of just happening. If my husband or I have the gene deletion we have a for sure 50% chance of passing it. If we don't have the gene deletion then there is a very slim possibility of passing it on. So here I am trying to take care of ...