Round three in my fight against infertility

I'm back and I don't want to be. I think we would all wish we weren't here.
Here's my dilemma in a nutshell (a very small nutshell)-
I have a girl - Lillian almost 6years old
I have a boy - Spencer 2 years old.

Between the four year gap we tried to conceive and couldn't for a long time. Finally after medical help we conceived. It was a horrible hospital ridden, I didn't know if my son would survive pregnancy.

I *think* I want another. Okay I want another but I don't want to have to go through the emotions, drugs, tests, disappointment, tears, and all the other stuff we go through to ttc.

My son was born with a syndrome. We don't know if it was passed down yet. His syndrome has a 50% chance of being hereditary, 50% chance of just happening.
If my husband or I have the gene deletion we have a for sure 50% chance of passing it. If we don't have the gene deletion then there is a very slim possibility of passing it on.
So here I am trying to take care of a special needs child, and ttc with a chance of passing the gene on..... I have a boy and a girl..... when do you blow the whistle and throw in the towel?

My doctor placed me on metformin. I was on it for a month before the side effects were so intense I took myself off of the drug. I always told myself I wouldn't go beyond clomid - meaning no In-vitro or other expensive procedures.

Sometimes I want to get rid of the baby things that are taking over my basement- but when it comes down to it, I want to believe there is another child for our family. I've recieved no spiritual confirmation, either way. My husband could be done whenever. He's shrugs his shoulders either way.

We've been trying for just over 3 months. I have PCOS and haven't had a period in a long time. One forced period (due to metformin) but my last natural period was before I conceived with my son. My mom and grandma all went through menopause in their mid 30's. I'm only 27 yet I feel so old.

So there is my story. I hope you girls can help and support me with my fight against infertility.

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