Miscarriage #2

By -
I guess you could say I'm in a pretty bad place right now. We already had a plateful of trials, and being pregnant was one of the few things we had going for us. Then I lost that too. This time is even worse than the last. After the last miscarriage four months ago, I was able to find a small glimmer of hope in the fact that I got pregnant. But now, after having two miscarriages in a row, coupled with the fact that we've struggled for so long to get pregnant, I am facing the fact that something is definitely wrong. I am terrified to put msyelf through this. I absolutely cannot face the thought of starting over again; of having intimacy with my husband be charted and planned, the misery each month when I get my period, and now...facing the probability that even if I do ever get pregnant again, I'll probably just lose it.

I know I will be seeing my Dr this week, and since you guys are knowledgable about this, and some of you have gone through exactly this, I'm curious if you have any suggestions for what my next step should be. Before I got pregnant this month, I actually filled a prescription for Clomid. I'm curious if that will still be my Dr's suggestion. I know you're supposed to ovulate more mature egges with Clomid-would that help prevent miscarriage? Or does it sound to you like I'm deficient in progesterone, or one of the other hormones needed to support pregnancy? Have any of you had to do injections while you were pregnant? I'm sure my Dr will be able to answer a lot of my questions, but I want to be as prepared as possible for the appt.

Honestly at this point, I am ready to fill out the adoption papers sitting in my office. I just don't know if I can, or want to put myself through this again right now...

Comments

Abby said…
i've had 2 miscarriages.. its so hard! Im sorry you are going through this.. why wont your doctor put you on clomid before trying IVF? I would think they would want to try that before since its inexpensive.. I ovulated regularly and my doc still put me on it and it worked the first time. I would talk to him more about it before going through the really expensive stuff.
July 12, 2009 8:42 PM
Jen L said…
Oh, Stephanie! I am so sorry!!! how far along were you? You will have to let us know how the dr. appointment goes! What my dr. told me, is when I get a positive pregnancy test, especially on Clomid, to call immediately for a progesterone test. He said there are a lot of options now, like creams, injections, etc. It would be so nice if that's all you needed!

We just finished our adoption papers on Sunday and I am taking a break from charting. I needed a break (even though it's always on my mind). It's been nice to take a break.

Try to take care of yourself! Call my mom and have her take Skyler for a bit so you and Mitch can go on a nice date or you can have time for yourself.

My thoughts and prayers are with you! Love and hugs from NY!
July 12, 2009 9:36 PM
Dirk and Trish said…
I'm so sorry. I know it won't change the past, but I hope your dr. can give you some helpful info. soon so you can decide what to do.
July 13, 2009 12:26 AM
Queen Mother said…
Ah. =( I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. I've lost 5 babies. It never gets any easier. I wish I could say that it does. My 1 year anniversary of my last miscarriage is fast approaching next week and I've been really depressed about it. Allow yourself to grieve, this is a very real loss. Hang in there. :::hugs:::

Clomid helps produce a stronger ovulation and therefore higher progesterone levels. So yes, it can help if progesterone really is why you are miscarrying. However, usually low progesterone is a symptom of a poor pregnancy and not the cause of that pregnancy's failure. That being said, I am put on progesterone support every cycle because I have a history. It's better safe than sorry. I have progesterone vaginal suppositories. There are progesterone injections, called Progesterone in Oil.

Again, I'm so sorry Stephanie. =(
July 13, 2009 6:13 PM
Stephanie said…
I just wanted to thank everyone for their support. At times like this, it's always amazing to witness the insensitive things people say. Don't get me wrong, I've had endless compassionate messages and hugs, which I appreciate so much. But just tonight, my mother in law gave me a little speal about how I should be happy that the three of us are alive and healthy, and we have a roof over our heads. She acted shocked that I was still grieving and sad after three days. I hung up the phone and cried, because she made me feel bad for feeling bad! Even though, deep down, I know she is in the wrong. It would be wrong of me if I wasn't trying to slowly climb out of the pit I'm in. And I am-I've been praying, and reading my scriptures, and reading the conference talks on adversity. However, I also know that these things take time, and it's okay if I'm not "over it" after a few days, or a few weeks, or a few months.

Anyway, that was a long way of saying that I appreciate you guys for validating my loss, and for understanding what it feels like.
July 13, 2009 11:02 PM
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