I didn't cry?......

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Last night I started my period and didn't cry. I have cried the last 19 months. Weird. I think it it because I recently read this book called The Message. It is a true story of a man who had chrones disease and got in a motorcycle accident. He is LDs and had 5 children. He was in a coma for many weeks. He talks about his experiences going in and out of this world to the spirit world. My dad gave it to me. It really made me think about things differently. Life seems to be so monthly when you are trying to have a baby, ya know? I know this trial will not last forever. I loved the talk on hope from the last months Ensign. It says that our promised blessing will not happen IN eternity but FOR eternity! This too shall pass... I finally gave in today and made another appointment with my doctor to get more testing done. I have been thinking each month that this will the THE month and just procrastinate going. I just HATE that it is so expensive and our insurance covers so little of it but I need to know I am doing everything I can and turn it over to the Lord. Pretty much my husband got his sperm tested....fine. I got my blood work done....fine. I ovulate every month and have a 28 day cycle? Whats next? Clomid? In some ways I wish they could find something so they could fix it.

Comments

Dirk and Trish said…
It's comforting to find perspective sometimes. I still lose that perspective, but at least sometimes I cope better than others. The testing is nervewracking, but hopefully they can at least give you an explanation so you can take the next step. I hate not being able /not knowing what to do next. Good luck!
July 01, 2009 7:46 PM
Stephanie said…
This week one of my co-workers' six month old baby died completely unexpectedly. So I know what you're saying about perspective. I hate that it takes things like that for me to remember how blessed I am, but unfortunately...it does.
July 02, 2009 10:32 PM
Kathy Twitchell said…
ok so I cried today....alot. I took care of a friends twin girls today and my son was absolutely in Heaven not being the only child. It just made me remember how much I want to have more children. I am so emotional, it drives me nuts.
July 03, 2009 12:34 AM
Dirk and Trish said…
Oh no, Stephanie! Sometimes it hits me at unexpected times. I know what you mean, Kathy, about your kid not being an only. My daughter loves playing w/ other kids and it's hard to have to "import" a playmate. Good luck next month!
July 03, 2009 1:34 PM
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