Fertile Friends (vent)
We are in a young ward and currently about 1/3 of the ward has either announced a pregnancy or has a baby under a year. Today a good friend who is out of state told me she's due in Nov. with #3. She's a year younger than me, got married a year after I did,and had her first a year before me. I really am excited for her, and happy that they are happy, but it's also tough. I am coping better this time around than when trying w/ my first (I had several younger friends "complain" about surprise pregnancies and we told NO ONE we were trying) because "at least I have one."
A lot of people at church assume I'm much younger (I'm 27 1/2) b/c our only child is 3. Many of the women around my age have 3, even 4 kids. My non-church friends & close to age cousins are closer to my stage of having children, so I told my DH last night I need to hang out with more people like that. I get asked sometimes 4x on Sunday if I'm expecting. Apparently our RS has an actual list of who's pregnant and I've been put on it 2x and people hear about it before anyone officially asks me. I know many people that have an easy time getting pg don't "really" understand, but how does it not occur to people that sometimes it's not our choice if our kids are far apart? It does not mean I don't like children or don't want them.
I am so thankful for my daughter. I am grateful we have been able to give her individual attention. I am very protective and have some anxiety issues, so when I consider my friends that have 3 kids under 5, I wonder if I could handle being on that side. Some days I am able to really understand that Heavenly Father knows what I can handle and part of that may be only having one kid for now. DD loves playing with other kids and she is so good with our friends' babies. She has such a sweet spirit and she would be a great sister. I really hope that she will be soon.
A lot of people at church assume I'm much younger (I'm 27 1/2) b/c our only child is 3. Many of the women around my age have 3, even 4 kids. My non-church friends & close to age cousins are closer to my stage of having children, so I told my DH last night I need to hang out with more people like that. I get asked sometimes 4x on Sunday if I'm expecting. Apparently our RS has an actual list of who's pregnant and I've been put on it 2x and people hear about it before anyone officially asks me. I know many people that have an easy time getting pg don't "really" understand, but how does it not occur to people that sometimes it's not our choice if our kids are far apart? It does not mean I don't like children or don't want them.
I am so thankful for my daughter. I am grateful we have been able to give her individual attention. I am very protective and have some anxiety issues, so when I consider my friends that have 3 kids under 5, I wonder if I could handle being on that side. Some days I am able to really understand that Heavenly Father knows what I can handle and part of that may be only having one kid for now. DD loves playing with other kids and she is so good with our friends' babies. She has such a sweet spirit and she would be a great sister. I really hope that she will be soon.
Comments
It's hard for me when other women comment on how long I've been married vs. how many children I have. I wish that people would just reserve judgment. We have been through so much in the past 2 years that it's really salt in the wound whenever someone brings it up.
Everyone in my ward is pregnant. At least it seems that way. And no one else has had fertility problems. It's very hard to deal with.