Faith, Hope, and Sorrow

I feel bad writing about this, but for whatever reason, this is really bothering me! More than anything, I just need to get it out and get over it. I have a friend who claims she had a miscarriage in Feb. At first I felt really bad for her, but as time has gone on, I realized that firstly, she didn't have a miscarriage but is just super uninformed about her own body and secondly it is driving me crazy how she is still milking it. Let me explain. She told me that she doesn't have regular periods (which I thought was odd since she has had 3 kids in 3 years). When she stopped nursing her youngest child in June, she bled and it was really heavy. She told me she had a miscarriage then because there was no way her normal bleeding is that heavy. Of course it could be, but if you have your first period in over a year after giving birth, chances are, it's going to be different than before. So what gets me is Feb. She told me she was pregnant. I asked her when she tested, and she sai...

In my mind there are 2 types of know it all friend. The 1st kind is the friend that has been what you have been through and really knows all the good info to share. The 2nd kind is the person who thinks they know what they are talking about and what you are going through. Obviously, one is much more tolerable than the other. I have 2 short senerios going on with each of these that i need to praise and vent about. Please bare with me I will start with the 1st know it all friend. I recently met a woman on base who has been trying to conceive for 10 years and has just start Invitro. I have talked to this woman about many things and she always has facts and stories to share. One thing i love most about this lady is that she is also an Army spouse so she has gone through all the insurance stuff already. Somedays she gives me my will to keep pressing on. I greating adore her and I dont know how i will ever be able to show her how much she, and her wealth of knowlegde mean to me(and my husba...

I guess you could say I'm in a pretty bad place right now. We already had a plateful of trials, and being pregnant was one of the few things we had going for us. Then I lost that too. This time is even worse than the last. After the last miscarriage four months ago, I was able to find a small glimmer of hope in the fact that I got pregnant. But now, after having two miscarriages in a row, coupled with the fact that we've struggled for so long to get pregnant, I am facing the fact that something is definitely wrong. I am terrified to put msyelf through this. I absolutely cannot face the thought of starting over again; of having intimacy with my husband be charted and planned, the misery each month when I get my period, and now...facing the probability that even if I do ever get pregnant again, I'll probably just lose it. I know I will be seeing my Dr this week, and since you guys are knowledgable about this, and some of you have gone through exactly this, I'm curi...

I posted a pic so you can see who i am....After Jeremy and I miscarried in January we were very hopeful that we would get pregnant again soon and whatever the problem was that it was gone. We said if we were not pregnant in 6 months then we would go back to the fertility doctor and be proactive about getting pregnant. Well it has been 6 months so I made an appointment and was excited to move forward with this. I got back a little bit a go feeling disappointed. I was thinking chlomid would be next but he says because I am ovulating each month and have a regular cycle that he is not going to put me on it. He filled out papers to do an IUI where they take Jeremys sperm and put it in me at the hospital. He said to try that for 3 rounds then IVF after that. Do any of you know how much IUI costs?? Has anyone had luck doing this in the past??. I guess all we can do is be patient and save save save & pray pray pray. We need either babies or money to grow on trees:) I just wish I knew what...

Last night I started my period and didn't cry. I have cried the last 19 months. Weird. I think it it because I recently read this book called The Message. It is a true story of a man who had chrones disease and got in a motorcycle accident. He is LDs and had 5 children. He was in a coma for many weeks. He talks about his experiences going in and out of this world to the spirit world. My dad gave it to me. It really made me think about things differently. Life seems to be so monthly when you are trying to have a baby, ya know? I know this trial will not last forever. I loved the talk on hope from the last months Ensign. It says that our promised blessing will not happen IN eternity but FOR eternity! This too shall pass... I finally gave in today and made another appointment with my doctor to get more testing done. I have been thinking each month that this will the THE month and just procrastinate going. I just HATE that it is so expensive and our insurance covers so little of it b...

I haven't had any rude or hurtful comments this week, just a few that made me say, "huh?" The first was from one of my sweet act. day girls. She watches me for a minute, then leans over and says "Do you have a sunburn?" I was puzzled, so she expounded that I was walking really slow. The next was a mom who had asked me to watch her kid, but I declined, telling her I had laparoscopic surgery the previous day for endometriosis. She says, oh, are you expecting? Apparently in her 5 pregnancies, she has never heard of the disease or the procedure. The last one was a friend, one of the few people locally that was fully filled in pre-surgery. I had told her what the procedure was, what the dr. would be looking for, that type of thing. So 2 days later she brings dinner over for my family. Then she invited us to go swimming with them the following day (this would be 3 days post-op). I looked at her, puzzled, and said I wasn't allowed to even take a bath for...

Does anyone else have problems reading the text since the blog layout has been redone? I'm not sure why I'm having issues, but I am, regardless of what computer I am on. I usually have to look up the posts by clicking edit, which means I can't post comments. Just wondered if anyone else was having issues...